There comes a time in any area of your life where you need to check yourself. Stop and evaluate what’s going on in your life and whether it’s working for you or not. You’ll know it’s working for you by your surroundings, how you feel inside, and whether you are progressing in areas of your life.
This past year I’ve come across many check points where I’ve had to evaluate my life professionally, socially, within my marriage, and most importantly, my relationship with myself. Realizing that none of them were full on in balance, it was clear it was time to invest in the real me.
Your core relationship with yourself will directly reflect in all areas of your life. And what that means is that if you are not hard core good with who you are, having self respect and self love, it will show up for you in all areas of your life.
A good friend of mine recently turned me on to a little project, well, we turned it into a project, called “THRIVE.” I sat down and made a list of things that I wanted to do in my life, the changes needed for those things to take place, and most importantly, what would happen if changes were not made. I thought long and hard about what I wanted in the areas of my life including professional, relationships with my family and friends, my health, and most importantly my relationship with myself.
Somewhere along my path I lost the sense of who I really was. I stopped focusing so much on the important things in my life like my business, health, fitness, and well being. I lost the joy in the things that brought me so much pleasure like cooking, training in the gym, girls’ night out, and writing. I was slowly spiraling further and further away from myself to the point that I didn’t even recognize who I was anymore.
When you get to a point where all the things that made you thrive start to slip away from you, you are heading to a dangerous place. If your relationship with your family, your friends, and your spouse start to suffer, it’s time. If your work starts to decline, it’s time. If your energy starts to diminish, if your appetite increases or decreases, if you are not exercising like you used to or doing activities that you once loved…..it’s time.
It’s time to get real about what life is really all about. We were not put here just to be a 9-5 workaholic who comes home at the end of the night, plops ourselves on the sofa with wine or a beer, and prays for the next weekend to come around. We are supposed to be joyful in all areas of our lives….including our chosen profession.
Whatever position you hold, you chose that position. Whatever your level of fitness, you chose that level. Whatever you eat, breathe, think, and feel….you chose them. We are all responsible for where we are in our lives. Yet we sit around and make others responsible for how our lives turned out. Our parents did this to us, our ex did that to us, my boss this, my friend that. Yet we seldom lay the responsibility for how our lives have turned out on our own shoulders.
Closing down my business of 8 years, Internal Cleansing Center, was an eye opening experience for me. It taught me that if everything were to stay the same forever…..then everything would be the same forever. As people, we are to grow. We are to constantly change. Be better. Be smarter. And if we don’t take that challenge on, opportunity will pass us by. This goes for our careers, relationships, and health as well. Just because something is fine today, doesn’t mean it will thrive tomorrow. We must be on call and alert at all times when something is of value to us.
When we are not being productive in our work, it’s time to take a seminar, work on a new project, network, or change something up. If our marriage or relationship with family member or friend has gone sour, we need to nurture that relationship and go over and beyond what you would do when you first initiated that relationship. If we are struggling with energy, health issues, sleep problems, or anything that would indicate an imbalance in our well being, it’s time to look deeply into what is and is not working for us in our lives. Is it food? Is it lack of exercise? Are you working too hard in one area and not enough in another? Where is the imbalance?
Once you have it narrowed down, you can start to clean things up. Make a list of what it is that you want in your life, what it would take for you to have it, and what would happen if you didn’t make the necessary changes to have these things in your life. You will see that you only get more of the same and the only one to blame…..is yourself.
Recently I’ve made some major changes in my life with my profession. I’ve gone back to school where I am studying to be a health and lifestyle coach. My former profession will always be a part of what I do and I will implement the skills and knowledge I have picked up along the way. But it was clear it was time to move on. Relationships with my family, friends, and husband were not working for me. I was feeling less social. So I made the commitment to be more available to the important relationships in my life…nurturing them as they have done for me for so many years. And most importantly, I am learning to honor and respect myself more. Being ok with where I am in my life right now. Not being so hard on myself. And working towards the goals that I am striving for.
I encourage you to look at your life from the outside in. What is it that works for you and does not work for you. Where are your strong points. What is it that you would like to achieve in your life and what would it take to get there. Be committed to yourself. Respect yourself enough to know that you are worth putting all the effort forth, making those changes, and living a life that you love to live.